Hey everyone, sorry I haven't updated this in a while, maybe it's only been a week, but so much has happened! I don't have much time because I need to finish packing and move the donkey before I leave for Jason and Sarah's. BUT, I wanted to let you all know that I'm doing ok.
The four days of solitude were good...more on that later.
The inner ear infection went away, praise the Lord for modern medicine, but the outer ear infection is still on the mend. Just a sidenote: I got an $80 medication for $5, at a legitimate pharmacy, just because it isn't under monopoly by a pharmaceutical company. I never knew it was like that!
Little Bird died. :( Dog food was missing some kind of nutrient and his beak and feet were not growing properly. It was a good try though.
More later! Pray for this week at Jason and Sarah's!
lunes, 12 de julio de 2010
miércoles, 30 de junio de 2010
Change of plans
Jesus, gracias por ampollos en mis manos, comida en mi estomago...
This week I did not go to Jason and Sarah's like we had planned. Instead, we decided that it would be more beneficial for me to stay with Larry and Allison for the last month. I will, however, go up to Jason and Sarah's for a week soon enough. Also, I will spend most of next week in house across the road by myself. It will be Four Days of Solitude and I will build a fire and draw pictures and cook food and sleep. The most important part is that I will get to be really alone with God with absolutely no other responsibilities. I'm sure he's got something to say to me that I can't hear with all this other stuff flying around in my head. I think he's going to offer me some peace, and I'm excited about it.
Little Bird, as I have come to call him, is doing just fine. He is a boy, his yellow tail feathers are coming in. He is growing a lot and seems to be healthy! A lot of the things that were weak about him when Alfredo found him were most likely just because he is a baby, not because of the at least 40 foot drop he survived.
There is only a month for me left here in Honduras, and it's going to be a good one.
...y la habilidad de hablar contigo en cualquier momento. Y tambien, gracias por el espiritu y oraciones cuando yo no se lo que debo decir.
This week I did not go to Jason and Sarah's like we had planned. Instead, we decided that it would be more beneficial for me to stay with Larry and Allison for the last month. I will, however, go up to Jason and Sarah's for a week soon enough. Also, I will spend most of next week in house across the road by myself. It will be Four Days of Solitude and I will build a fire and draw pictures and cook food and sleep. The most important part is that I will get to be really alone with God with absolutely no other responsibilities. I'm sure he's got something to say to me that I can't hear with all this other stuff flying around in my head. I think he's going to offer me some peace, and I'm excited about it.
Little Bird, as I have come to call him, is doing just fine. He is a boy, his yellow tail feathers are coming in. He is growing a lot and seems to be healthy! A lot of the things that were weak about him when Alfredo found him were most likely just because he is a baby, not because of the at least 40 foot drop he survived.
There is only a month for me left here in Honduras, and it's going to be a good one.
...y la habilidad de hablar contigo en cualquier momento. Y tambien, gracias por el espiritu y oraciones cuando yo no se lo que debo decir.
martes, 22 de junio de 2010
new life growing in my belly...
Jesus, eres nuestra respirar...
Before I break the news to you all, let me first note that I have not looked at the BBC updates on my email in a month and a half, but I did today. The first thing I saw? KILLER SPACE ROCKS THREATEN EARTH?! Where have I been...
This week has been full of all sorts of new life.
There are these really interesting birds that hang their nests from trees in tall, tall trees here in the cuenca. They are called orupendola (black and yellow, close to an oriole, beautiful). The campamento has several fallen nests as decoration in various places, and they are incredible. They hang like narrow, long baskets and the birds somehow go in and out of them. The other day, my friend Alfredo found a fallen orupendola nest on the ground with a baby inside! We have been taking care of it for four days now. We feed him wet dog food (what the internet said...it must be true?). The nest hangs in the kitchen and I go to check on it every once in a while. The little baby bird seems so fragile, but we think he is getting better. Only time will tell. It reminds me of freshman year of college when I kept saying I wanted to be a "lion tamer" and take care of hurt animals. I hope that wherever I live, people bring me hurt animals like they bring Larry and Allison. They have a kinkachoo (raccoon monkey thing--honey bear in english) that lost it's mother four years ago that doesn't know he is a kinkachoo. The other day someone brought another one that was dying (it died). It's just interesting to see the things and problems people bring to Larry and Allison. I have really enjoyed taking care of this little bird, as well as the chickens and now the donkey that Larry bought last week. They are always an adventure.
Now onto the bigger news. Now, don't be disappointed in me everyone, but there is new life growing inside me. Worms!!! My ear has been hurting for the past two weeks and I thought it was because I didn't get all the water out after swimming in the river with Karla. Well, it seemed to go away for a few days until this weekend when my ear started to hurt really bad, inside and out. Since Monday was Larry and Allison's wedding anniversary, they were going to the clinic up the road to see their baby (Allison's about 3 months pregnant) on the ultrasound. I went with them and Dr. Martin (another missionary) checked out my ear. He said I have the cleanest right ear "this side of the Mississippi" but a pretty yucky infection in the left. While we were waiting in the line to be seen, Allison and I were joking about this memory I have from elementary school where my friend told me about this insect that gets inside your ear and you don't know until it's eating your brain! Every once in a while I feel a stabbing pain in my ear, so we were joking that these are the times when the bug must be hungry!! We just thought it was an infection until Dr. Martin looked into my ear and told me that I actually have worms! Allison's face was priceless when I told her, because she thought the whole insect-eating-my-brain joke was silly. Pure shock.
I've been on the internet for too long now, so this blog post is not as full as I had hoped, nor is it proof-read. As it is, though, I hope it finds you in the mood to laugh.
Worms and all,
Alex
P.S. bird name suggestions and prayer requests being accepted lexideSosa@hotmail.com
...gracias por la vida en nuestros pulmones. Permitenos entender cada dia como un regalo de ti. Porque cada dia es. Amen.
Before I break the news to you all, let me first note that I have not looked at the BBC updates on my email in a month and a half, but I did today. The first thing I saw? KILLER SPACE ROCKS THREATEN EARTH?! Where have I been...
This week has been full of all sorts of new life.
There are these really interesting birds that hang their nests from trees in tall, tall trees here in the cuenca. They are called orupendola (black and yellow, close to an oriole, beautiful). The campamento has several fallen nests as decoration in various places, and they are incredible. They hang like narrow, long baskets and the birds somehow go in and out of them. The other day, my friend Alfredo found a fallen orupendola nest on the ground with a baby inside! We have been taking care of it for four days now. We feed him wet dog food (what the internet said...it must be true?). The nest hangs in the kitchen and I go to check on it every once in a while. The little baby bird seems so fragile, but we think he is getting better. Only time will tell. It reminds me of freshman year of college when I kept saying I wanted to be a "lion tamer" and take care of hurt animals. I hope that wherever I live, people bring me hurt animals like they bring Larry and Allison. They have a kinkachoo (raccoon monkey thing--honey bear in english) that lost it's mother four years ago that doesn't know he is a kinkachoo. The other day someone brought another one that was dying (it died). It's just interesting to see the things and problems people bring to Larry and Allison. I have really enjoyed taking care of this little bird, as well as the chickens and now the donkey that Larry bought last week. They are always an adventure.
Now onto the bigger news. Now, don't be disappointed in me everyone, but there is new life growing inside me. Worms!!! My ear has been hurting for the past two weeks and I thought it was because I didn't get all the water out after swimming in the river with Karla. Well, it seemed to go away for a few days until this weekend when my ear started to hurt really bad, inside and out. Since Monday was Larry and Allison's wedding anniversary, they were going to the clinic up the road to see their baby (Allison's about 3 months pregnant) on the ultrasound. I went with them and Dr. Martin (another missionary) checked out my ear. He said I have the cleanest right ear "this side of the Mississippi" but a pretty yucky infection in the left. While we were waiting in the line to be seen, Allison and I were joking about this memory I have from elementary school where my friend told me about this insect that gets inside your ear and you don't know until it's eating your brain! Every once in a while I feel a stabbing pain in my ear, so we were joking that these are the times when the bug must be hungry!! We just thought it was an infection until Dr. Martin looked into my ear and told me that I actually have worms! Allison's face was priceless when I told her, because she thought the whole insect-eating-my-brain joke was silly. Pure shock.
I've been on the internet for too long now, so this blog post is not as full as I had hoped, nor is it proof-read. As it is, though, I hope it finds you in the mood to laugh.
Worms and all,
Alex
P.S. bird name suggestions and prayer requests being accepted lexideSosa@hotmail.com
...gracias por la vida en nuestros pulmones. Permitenos entender cada dia como un regalo de ti. Porque cada dia es. Amen.
sábado, 12 de junio de 2010
Jesus, compassion, love and such
Jesus, gracias por...
My brother Bobby had surgery on his spinal cord a couple of weeks ago and I got to talk to him on the phone the other day for a few minutes. After talking with him, my heart hurt so bad because he is alone and in lots of pain. I wish that I could be there with him and here at the same time. It's hard to be away from him when I know he is in pain, and I always think that I can make things better (but I'm learning that I can't hold the world together with my two hands). I'm sure you've experienced the feeling of watching someone you love suffer, not just in physical ways, but emotionally and spiritually as well. When I experience it, it comes in the form of a heartwrenching pain in my chest. All I want to do is take their burdens away and make it possible for them to be whole and "all better". As I tried to go to sleep, my mind kept going back to him. I asked God for some way to make things easier for him. For some way to take...away....his....burdens....oh...the CROSS! I suddenly remembered the hope we have in Christ. God is not just a set of rules and doctrine we believe. He is real and his healing is actual and practical. I don't just mean bodily healing, which we see from time to time. I mean heart healing. He says to come to him if we are burdened, and he will give us rest. Seriously!
I wonder if it is not the same pain I experience in my chest that caused Jesus to knowingly make his way to Jerusalem, the garden, and then the cross. In the Bible, it says that Jesus asked God to "take this cup away" from him, but only if it was in God's will. Jesus knew that he came to Earth for that very reason, he had all the power to stop the torture. He was tempted, he could have chosen a different life. The pain he knew he would experience scared him, but not enough to overwhelm the real compassion he understood and felt for us. I wonder if his heart ached so badly that there wasn't room enough for overwhelming fear. Jesus' love for us led him to the cross, the only real way to take away burdens. He had to sacrifice himself for us, there was no other way. He didn't just die for our sins, to take them away so we wouldn't be "all that bad" anymore, he died so that we might be healed. That every broken part within you, affected deeply by your own sin and the sin of others toward you, has hope of being restored.
Jesus' action means that our sorrow can be lifted, and that every part of us that is wounded from rape or other sexual encounters or family violence or divorce or rejection or neglectful parents or anything else is repaired. Jesus felt sorrow. It was very real to him. He didn't remove sorrow from the world, we still see it, he just made real healing available to anyone. Jesus didn't come to take away sorrow immeadiately, he came to give it meaning. If we ask God to take away all sorrow, we ask God to take away the meaning of his sacrifice. Sorrow is here, and it is very real, difficult to swallow. But, we have a God who overcame it. who turned it over on itself to produce a hope equal in reality to the sorrow we experience in our lives.
I have experienced this healing in my life and the restoration of broken things continues here in Honduras, I know it won't be complete until heaven, but little pieces of it now are nice. It doesn't mean I am always happy or unburdened, it means experiencing life deeply, profound as the ocean and as high as the clouds. Joy and sorrow, together, make life meaningful.
This is what God is doing in me here. Teaching me that living with a broken heart isn't necessary, that he can take any bad thing and make it new. It's not fun thinking about the past or dealing with old memories, it's not easy, but it's worth it.
I hope this message hits your ears today in a way that makes it real, not just theoretical, not just something you've heard before. Don't just say that you know God, that you are "right" with him. Seek out healing. It's not about the rules or the doctrine or the religion, it's about the real hope that is available to you. It's like a feast of healing and you don't have to pay anything, you can't pay anything. Take it, it's free.
Isaiah 54 and 55
...el amor tan grande. Es un regalo precioso, mas que todo.
My brother Bobby had surgery on his spinal cord a couple of weeks ago and I got to talk to him on the phone the other day for a few minutes. After talking with him, my heart hurt so bad because he is alone and in lots of pain. I wish that I could be there with him and here at the same time. It's hard to be away from him when I know he is in pain, and I always think that I can make things better (but I'm learning that I can't hold the world together with my two hands). I'm sure you've experienced the feeling of watching someone you love suffer, not just in physical ways, but emotionally and spiritually as well. When I experience it, it comes in the form of a heartwrenching pain in my chest. All I want to do is take their burdens away and make it possible for them to be whole and "all better". As I tried to go to sleep, my mind kept going back to him. I asked God for some way to make things easier for him. For some way to take...away....his....burdens....oh...the CROSS! I suddenly remembered the hope we have in Christ. God is not just a set of rules and doctrine we believe. He is real and his healing is actual and practical. I don't just mean bodily healing, which we see from time to time. I mean heart healing. He says to come to him if we are burdened, and he will give us rest. Seriously!
I wonder if it is not the same pain I experience in my chest that caused Jesus to knowingly make his way to Jerusalem, the garden, and then the cross. In the Bible, it says that Jesus asked God to "take this cup away" from him, but only if it was in God's will. Jesus knew that he came to Earth for that very reason, he had all the power to stop the torture. He was tempted, he could have chosen a different life. The pain he knew he would experience scared him, but not enough to overwhelm the real compassion he understood and felt for us. I wonder if his heart ached so badly that there wasn't room enough for overwhelming fear. Jesus' love for us led him to the cross, the only real way to take away burdens. He had to sacrifice himself for us, there was no other way. He didn't just die for our sins, to take them away so we wouldn't be "all that bad" anymore, he died so that we might be healed. That every broken part within you, affected deeply by your own sin and the sin of others toward you, has hope of being restored.
Jesus' action means that our sorrow can be lifted, and that every part of us that is wounded from rape or other sexual encounters or family violence or divorce or rejection or neglectful parents or anything else is repaired. Jesus felt sorrow. It was very real to him. He didn't remove sorrow from the world, we still see it, he just made real healing available to anyone. Jesus didn't come to take away sorrow immeadiately, he came to give it meaning. If we ask God to take away all sorrow, we ask God to take away the meaning of his sacrifice. Sorrow is here, and it is very real, difficult to swallow. But, we have a God who overcame it. who turned it over on itself to produce a hope equal in reality to the sorrow we experience in our lives.
I have experienced this healing in my life and the restoration of broken things continues here in Honduras, I know it won't be complete until heaven, but little pieces of it now are nice. It doesn't mean I am always happy or unburdened, it means experiencing life deeply, profound as the ocean and as high as the clouds. Joy and sorrow, together, make life meaningful.
This is what God is doing in me here. Teaching me that living with a broken heart isn't necessary, that he can take any bad thing and make it new. It's not fun thinking about the past or dealing with old memories, it's not easy, but it's worth it.
I hope this message hits your ears today in a way that makes it real, not just theoretical, not just something you've heard before. Don't just say that you know God, that you are "right" with him. Seek out healing. It's not about the rules or the doctrine or the religion, it's about the real hope that is available to you. It's like a feast of healing and you don't have to pay anything, you can't pay anything. Take it, it's free.
Isaiah 54 and 55
...el amor tan grande. Es un regalo precioso, mas que todo.
sábado, 5 de junio de 2010
sacrificing the body...
Jesus, gracias por el tiempo aqui, aunque estoy bien cansada....
Whew. It has been a long week. I ended up not going to Luis's home this week because he is planting his bean fields and his land is very steep. I think it was a good decision he made. It's not just about an experience for me, his family is economically poor and if I messed something up, it would be rough. In any case, we did walk up to La Moriah three times this week. One thing I never considered is that if you plant up there, you have to get the harvest back down to your house. This means that twice this week we came back with lots of crops. Bananas on Wednesday and corn on Friday. We carry as much as we can and the road is long. But, it will all be worth it when we get to eat the corn for dinner!
One thing that I continually realize about life like this is that you have to sacrifice your body for the food you grow. It seems ironic because you're growing the food to preserve your body, yet the toll it takes is incredible. Bug bites and scratches and sunburns and lots of sweat and sore muscles, these are what a farmer has to go through. It's not all bad, at the end of the day, I often feel satisfied, knowing that the work I put in actually matters in a very tangible way. There is a very real difference between the idea of farming and the action of farming. Farming in theory sounds great...being close to the land, trusting Jesus for rain and sun, fresh food on the table, taking care of the land. All these ideas can get really romanticized in the mind if I let them. I think maybe that's part of the reason why I am here, to learn that the action of farming takes time. We working in La Moriah for at least three weeks before we even started planting, let alone the harvest which will take three months!
PAUSE, I will finish this later because I have to go!
OK, I'm back. We drove up the cuenca road to meet with some other missionaries in the area to pray over all the ministries and such. It was good.
Now I am back.
This week we got chickens. 5 mamas, 1 papa and 10 babies. They are in an old monkey cage that is on it's side, for now at least. It's not the most convenient place, but like Victor, the guy who helped us push it down the hill, "algo es algo" (something is something), which is true. After we got back tonight, I had to feed them. One of the hens got out this morning and was hiding under the cage. I tried to get it in and two others came out! Yikes. So, after dinner, we got our headlamps to search campus for these chickens. BUT, praise God, they were roosting under the cage and we caught them while they were sleeping. I was so ready for a more exciting adventure, but we are all pretty tired, so it's probably better that it worked out that way.
A while ago, Erick asked me what my favorite band was, and told me he liked the Dixie Chicks...probably my favorite. SO, right now I am listening to them on the computer from his jump drive. What a wonderful thing.
I hope everyone is doing well. If you think about it, send me some things I can pray for (lexideSosa@hotmail.com) and I will do that.
Please keep praying that God would give me the strength to love people here and to love myself more. God is teaching me a lot about both, and it's wonderful.
....vale la pena. Estoy creciendo, y es la verdad que estoy "bien" cansada. Cansada, pero, porque de trabajo bueno y crecimiento dificil pero necesario. Sigue, por favor, con las obras que haces en mi corazon. Y gracias por la gente aqui y la comunidad que me ofrece, aunque algunas veces no participo. Ensename, Senor, la significa de amarte.
Whew. It has been a long week. I ended up not going to Luis's home this week because he is planting his bean fields and his land is very steep. I think it was a good decision he made. It's not just about an experience for me, his family is economically poor and if I messed something up, it would be rough. In any case, we did walk up to La Moriah three times this week. One thing I never considered is that if you plant up there, you have to get the harvest back down to your house. This means that twice this week we came back with lots of crops. Bananas on Wednesday and corn on Friday. We carry as much as we can and the road is long. But, it will all be worth it when we get to eat the corn for dinner!
One thing that I continually realize about life like this is that you have to sacrifice your body for the food you grow. It seems ironic because you're growing the food to preserve your body, yet the toll it takes is incredible. Bug bites and scratches and sunburns and lots of sweat and sore muscles, these are what a farmer has to go through. It's not all bad, at the end of the day, I often feel satisfied, knowing that the work I put in actually matters in a very tangible way. There is a very real difference between the idea of farming and the action of farming. Farming in theory sounds great...being close to the land, trusting Jesus for rain and sun, fresh food on the table, taking care of the land. All these ideas can get really romanticized in the mind if I let them. I think maybe that's part of the reason why I am here, to learn that the action of farming takes time. We working in La Moriah for at least three weeks before we even started planting, let alone the harvest which will take three months!
PAUSE, I will finish this later because I have to go!
OK, I'm back. We drove up the cuenca road to meet with some other missionaries in the area to pray over all the ministries and such. It was good.
Now I am back.
This week we got chickens. 5 mamas, 1 papa and 10 babies. They are in an old monkey cage that is on it's side, for now at least. It's not the most convenient place, but like Victor, the guy who helped us push it down the hill, "algo es algo" (something is something), which is true. After we got back tonight, I had to feed them. One of the hens got out this morning and was hiding under the cage. I tried to get it in and two others came out! Yikes. So, after dinner, we got our headlamps to search campus for these chickens. BUT, praise God, they were roosting under the cage and we caught them while they were sleeping. I was so ready for a more exciting adventure, but we are all pretty tired, so it's probably better that it worked out that way.
A while ago, Erick asked me what my favorite band was, and told me he liked the Dixie Chicks...probably my favorite. SO, right now I am listening to them on the computer from his jump drive. What a wonderful thing.
I hope everyone is doing well. If you think about it, send me some things I can pray for (lexideSosa@hotmail.com) and I will do that.
Please keep praying that God would give me the strength to love people here and to love myself more. God is teaching me a lot about both, and it's wonderful.
....vale la pena. Estoy creciendo, y es la verdad que estoy "bien" cansada. Cansada, pero, porque de trabajo bueno y crecimiento dificil pero necesario. Sigue, por favor, con las obras que haces en mi corazon. Y gracias por la gente aqui y la comunidad que me ofrece, aunque algunas veces no participo. Ensename, Senor, la significa de amarte.
viernes, 28 de mayo de 2010
The day to day.
Highlight of the week: Larry's friend Ruth brought us CHAI. Just kidding, not the highlight, but definitely a high point.
So, I'm going to be honest. It is late, and I am tired. I want to tell you all a funny story, but sometimes when I look at the screen for too long I feel like my eyes are going to fall out. Also, we have to use the computer in the kitchen and someone else has to be with us. Erick is here because he's the only one who is around, but he is tired.
I think you all would like to know what we do most of the time. It's different every day, every week, but here we are.
Monday: Larry and I hiked up to La Moriah to cut down weeds to plant corn. It was a good time and I found a huge termite nest! After that I rested, read, ate dinner, and I don't really remember what we did that night besides that I went to sleep.
Tuesday: I moved the stuff I sweeped up in the plant nursery (an old house that was destroyed by Hurricane Mitch) into the compost pile. I planted some cranberry hibiscus seeds in a seed bed and tried to move some wild cilantro, but the neighbor's chicken was in the bed where we wanted to put them, so we decided to wait til we had a better fence. I tried to catch the chicken for a while, but she is really smart.
Wednesday: I planted some more things in the nursery and weeded and put more mulch (bamboo leaves) on the terraces they have built here, getting them ready to plant.
Thursday: I worked with Erick planting corn on the property across the road. We picked a pineapple but it wasn't ready, and found lots of sweet potatoes we missed in the harvest! It took a while because he wasn't feeling well, but we finished. I went to a Bible study with Allison and the other missonary women in the area.
Friday: I planted beans on one of the terraces I mulched. They are an heirloom variety of cow bean from the states, so we will see how that works. I planted some mustard seed and some other beans in the nursery. I made cuttings from katuk plants to to put in the ground because a new tree will grow right out of those little sticks to make a fence to keep the chickens in or out, depending. After lunch, Larry and I went across the road to help him plant something, but I actually ended up charming bees and harvesting beans. So that was fun.
Every day after work is over and I am in the room, Joel comes in to draw a picture. They are beautiful, mostly just circles. Depending on the kind of paper you give him, he will draw different figures. If you give him paper with no lines, he will draw some kind of domino human, if graph paper, just circles. Today he only used the green marker. Interesting. I wish I could get inside his head.
The real fun has been in the stuff God is revealing to me about my life and my past and my heart right now. It's been really rough, but, like I said earlier, this summer is probably going to be more about healing than agriculture, though I am finding that the two don't have to be separate things.
Also, I should let you know that I am going to be staying in the campo (country) for two weeks, with a man named Luis and his wife and kids. Luis works with Larry and Larry likes to send people to stay with him. They are poor farmers, but I we will talk more about that when I get back. All that to say, I don't know if I will get on the the computer next Friday.
I hope everything is going well for you, but if it's not, that's ok too. God can use even the nastiest, thorniest weed to fertilize something beautiful (how's that for an agricultural truism of a metaphor?!)
Alex
So, I'm going to be honest. It is late, and I am tired. I want to tell you all a funny story, but sometimes when I look at the screen for too long I feel like my eyes are going to fall out. Also, we have to use the computer in the kitchen and someone else has to be with us. Erick is here because he's the only one who is around, but he is tired.
I think you all would like to know what we do most of the time. It's different every day, every week, but here we are.
Monday: Larry and I hiked up to La Moriah to cut down weeds to plant corn. It was a good time and I found a huge termite nest! After that I rested, read, ate dinner, and I don't really remember what we did that night besides that I went to sleep.
Tuesday: I moved the stuff I sweeped up in the plant nursery (an old house that was destroyed by Hurricane Mitch) into the compost pile. I planted some cranberry hibiscus seeds in a seed bed and tried to move some wild cilantro, but the neighbor's chicken was in the bed where we wanted to put them, so we decided to wait til we had a better fence. I tried to catch the chicken for a while, but she is really smart.
Wednesday: I planted some more things in the nursery and weeded and put more mulch (bamboo leaves) on the terraces they have built here, getting them ready to plant.
Thursday: I worked with Erick planting corn on the property across the road. We picked a pineapple but it wasn't ready, and found lots of sweet potatoes we missed in the harvest! It took a while because he wasn't feeling well, but we finished. I went to a Bible study with Allison and the other missonary women in the area.
Friday: I planted beans on one of the terraces I mulched. They are an heirloom variety of cow bean from the states, so we will see how that works. I planted some mustard seed and some other beans in the nursery. I made cuttings from katuk plants to to put in the ground because a new tree will grow right out of those little sticks to make a fence to keep the chickens in or out, depending. After lunch, Larry and I went across the road to help him plant something, but I actually ended up charming bees and harvesting beans. So that was fun.
Every day after work is over and I am in the room, Joel comes in to draw a picture. They are beautiful, mostly just circles. Depending on the kind of paper you give him, he will draw different figures. If you give him paper with no lines, he will draw some kind of domino human, if graph paper, just circles. Today he only used the green marker. Interesting. I wish I could get inside his head.
The real fun has been in the stuff God is revealing to me about my life and my past and my heart right now. It's been really rough, but, like I said earlier, this summer is probably going to be more about healing than agriculture, though I am finding that the two don't have to be separate things.
Also, I should let you know that I am going to be staying in the campo (country) for two weeks, with a man named Luis and his wife and kids. Luis works with Larry and Larry likes to send people to stay with him. They are poor farmers, but I we will talk more about that when I get back. All that to say, I don't know if I will get on the the computer next Friday.
I hope everything is going well for you, but if it's not, that's ok too. God can use even the nastiest, thorniest weed to fertilize something beautiful (how's that for an agricultural truism of a metaphor?!)
Alex
viernes, 21 de mayo de 2010
Profesora Pina
Throughout the school, I have had all sorts of different teachers, and I don't discriminate. BUT, I never thought I would be taught by pineapple. I'm not EVEN kidding. Two days ago I spent 3 hours alone weeding a patch of pineapples on a steep mountainside under the beautiful Honduran sun. As picturesque as this sounds, and it IS beautiful, there is one thing I never realized about pineapple plants. They have really intense spines. I didn't bring any long sleeve shirts, so my arms are covered in scratches from this experience. The word miserable could describe this experience, except that God, being God, chose to turn it around. He reminded me how much I love to sing, and how much patience I need to develop. It was actually ironic, because the day before I prayed that God would teach me more about patience.
It impossible to be a farmer, a good farmer, without patience. There are so many emotions that come along with agriculture, particularly at the subsistence level, that I didn't anticipate. For example, yesterday we found out that the seed Larry had saved from last year's corn harvest, was invaded by bugs and rats. Out of some 20 ears, I only found 5 untouched. The rest we have to sort through seed by seed. We have a cool trick though, where we put the seeds in water and the good ones float, but that's besides the point. We don't have enough seed to plant all the field. If we were real subsistence farmers without resources, this could be disastrous. It's a devestating feeling to know a source of food and income is ruined.
Patience is necessary for this. When you don't know what is coming around the corner, you have to hope in the work you have done and the time you have put in.
So, here I am in this field of pineapple, tired, sticky, and frustrated that I keep getting scratched (I'm not exaggerating when I say that my arms are covered in scratches). I am thinking, Jesus, why would I want to do this for the rest of my life? Why is this what you have called me to? WHY...WHY WHY...lalala. And then, I felt like I should start singing, so I did. A gospel song "Praise Him in Advance" came on. One line says "praise will confuse the enemy..." So that's what I did. I praised, and it was hard because part of me really didn't want to.
It reminds me of one time when I was babysitting for Dave and Margie Davis. When I arrived, Margie and I started getting Abby and Piper ready for a bath. As Margie is getting Piper's clothes off, Piper pees on her! I didn't know what to say or do, but Margie just looks at me and laughs and sincerely says, THIS IS GREAT! Ha. Talk about praise in the midst of trouble.
This is why I am here in Honduras. To learn strange things from God through pineapples.
I hope you are all doing well and enjoying your days as I am!
Alex
viernes, 14 de mayo de 2010
Lentemente....is not a word.
Gracias Dios, estoy segura que este lugar...
So I've been here for a couple of days, but it feels like much longer. I am sitting at the table with Joel, while Allison makes popcorn and tea for us. Four kittens are playing with their mama, Patches, who is about to nurse them to sleep. The dog Late (Lah-tay) got in a fight today on the way back from La Moriah, the place where Erick and Larry and I worked. We were helping to move dirt for the adobe bricks of Toyano's new house, which he is building. He saved up money for a tin roof through working for Larry, as he has for the last 10 years. It's pretty cool. He has lots of kids, and they are all really funny. All of them helped us move the dirt as much as they could. The youngest would carry two shovel scoops, all the way on up to the 14 of Larry and Erick (or something like that). The las two times we filled everyone's bags and then all walked up together to dump the dirt. It was a good reminder of what the church should look like, everyone doing as much as they can, which sometimes doesn't seem like much. Toyano would have helped, but his sister-in-law died unexpectedly and he went down the mountain to be with everyone for a memorial (I think it was a memorial). Now, he didn't just walk (or drive), he walked down the mountain. Which he does every day. The walk is pretty rough going up, lots of rocks and windy paths. When we walked it this morning, Larry was ever so kind to stop every once in a while to point out some plant or some view, meanwhile Erick and I got to rest. Larry is a runner, so it seems like he has lots of endurance. I...do not, anymore at least. So it was a very interesting battle going on in my head as we walked up. I was thinking, I can't do this. How am I going to be a farmer? What if I just can't do it? Maybe I should just turn around and go pack to the campamento. Maybe I should give up on every dream of living this kind of life. Praise God, it was rough, but we made it of course. It was a good day.
Yesterday Allison and I watched kids from different schools in the area play futbol in a tournament. Allison said the kids on the other team are taller because their families raise cattle and they get milk. Interesting.
Tomorrow some kids are coming to the campamento and we will get to play.
Joel just laughed at me because I drank the tea when it was a little hot. Or atleast I made a face as I tested it. He is wonderful. He is 31 years old and mentally retarded. Each day he goes out to gather bottles and cans that they eventually take to La Ceiba so he can cash them in. Yesterday when we drove through the cuenca, it seemed that everyone knew him. He is probably the most famous, and definitely the sweetest, person here. He makes me smile every time we talk.
Also, there is Don Victor. Don Victor is 97 years old.
Joel y Don Victor live here. Along with Erick and Carla. Erick and Carla are given scholarships from by Larry and Allison to go to a local university. Carla is my roommate and we get along very well. She is patient with me when I ask her to repeat something and neither of us are very good at volleyball. Erick is a very hard worker, and I am sure he will be some sort of community leader one day, not necessarily an official one, but at least someone that everyone respects.
Behind me there is a cool gecko eating a moth, just a side note.
As the days go on, I am more convinced that this place is exaclty where I should be. I'm not just here to agricultural things, I think that maybe God brought me here to heal a little bit. And it feels like that's exactly what's happening.
...es exactamente donde me quiere. Amen.
So I've been here for a couple of days, but it feels like much longer. I am sitting at the table with Joel, while Allison makes popcorn and tea for us. Four kittens are playing with their mama, Patches, who is about to nurse them to sleep. The dog Late (Lah-tay) got in a fight today on the way back from La Moriah, the place where Erick and Larry and I worked. We were helping to move dirt for the adobe bricks of Toyano's new house, which he is building. He saved up money for a tin roof through working for Larry, as he has for the last 10 years. It's pretty cool. He has lots of kids, and they are all really funny. All of them helped us move the dirt as much as they could. The youngest would carry two shovel scoops, all the way on up to the 14 of Larry and Erick (or something like that). The las two times we filled everyone's bags and then all walked up together to dump the dirt. It was a good reminder of what the church should look like, everyone doing as much as they can, which sometimes doesn't seem like much. Toyano would have helped, but his sister-in-law died unexpectedly and he went down the mountain to be with everyone for a memorial (I think it was a memorial). Now, he didn't just walk (or drive), he walked down the mountain. Which he does every day. The walk is pretty rough going up, lots of rocks and windy paths. When we walked it this morning, Larry was ever so kind to stop every once in a while to point out some plant or some view, meanwhile Erick and I got to rest. Larry is a runner, so it seems like he has lots of endurance. I...do not, anymore at least. So it was a very interesting battle going on in my head as we walked up. I was thinking, I can't do this. How am I going to be a farmer? What if I just can't do it? Maybe I should just turn around and go pack to the campamento. Maybe I should give up on every dream of living this kind of life. Praise God, it was rough, but we made it of course. It was a good day.
Yesterday Allison and I watched kids from different schools in the area play futbol in a tournament. Allison said the kids on the other team are taller because their families raise cattle and they get milk. Interesting.
Tomorrow some kids are coming to the campamento and we will get to play.
Joel just laughed at me because I drank the tea when it was a little hot. Or atleast I made a face as I tested it. He is wonderful. He is 31 years old and mentally retarded. Each day he goes out to gather bottles and cans that they eventually take to La Ceiba so he can cash them in. Yesterday when we drove through the cuenca, it seemed that everyone knew him. He is probably the most famous, and definitely the sweetest, person here. He makes me smile every time we talk.
Also, there is Don Victor. Don Victor is 97 years old.
Joel y Don Victor live here. Along with Erick and Carla. Erick and Carla are given scholarships from by Larry and Allison to go to a local university. Carla is my roommate and we get along very well. She is patient with me when I ask her to repeat something and neither of us are very good at volleyball. Erick is a very hard worker, and I am sure he will be some sort of community leader one day, not necessarily an official one, but at least someone that everyone respects.
Behind me there is a cool gecko eating a moth, just a side note.
As the days go on, I am more convinced that this place is exaclty where I should be. I'm not just here to agricultural things, I think that maybe God brought me here to heal a little bit. And it feels like that's exactly what's happening.
...es exactamente donde me quiere. Amen.
lunes, 10 de mayo de 2010
And so it begins
Por favor, Jesus, seguridad, gracia, y amor para todo gente del mundo...
The journey begins in just a few short hours when my wonderful brother Bobby comes to pick me up to go to the airport. Flight at 9, get into Honduras a couple hours later. taxi cab to bus station, bus to Ceiba. FINALLY get to meet Larry and Allison. I better be ready to speak some spanish...
Feeling pretty good, excited and nervous. That's really all I have to say right now.
Good night, everyone.
...en los aeropuertos y en las calles, amen.
domingo, 9 de mayo de 2010
Good.
Dios, estoy pensando de muchas cosas...
If I'm honest, sometimes I wonder why I am going. It seems kind of random the way it even happened, and the details are really just....not there. It would be simpler to stay at home, to work at Panera Bread and deal with the same things I dealt with last summer. I could go to the beach all the time, hang out with high school friends, go to the hill country to see my nieces and nephews, my brothers and my sister. Part of me really wants to stay and be with my family. For the first time ever I am nervous about going to another country. GOOD.
I want to do this. Maybe some interesting people and lots of physical labor will help me see things as simple. Less time to dwell on things, more prayer, more sweat. all things to look forward to.
...por favor, se el pensamiento mas importante de mi mente.
sábado, 8 de mayo de 2010
Three days...
Señor, en tres dias, la vida en la cuenca comenzará...
In three days, life in Honduras will begin. That gives me one day left to prepare for every month I will be there.
Things I am looking forward to:
-being in community with people, even if it's not easy
-new friends and experiences
-speaking spanish
-sun
-writing letters
Things I am nervous about:
-being in community with people, especially when it's not easy
-getting enough sleep before I go, and spending enough time with the people I love in Houston
-navigating my way to Las Mangas on my own. what if I forget how to say: "please take me to the bus station." ???
I think I am going to learn a lot this summer, and I am really excited. I am not sure what it is going to look like, or what will come out of it. But, that's not the way I want to look at it either. I don't want to turn this into a "learning experience" or another thing to say that I have done. I want to understand it as real life (because it is real life), and I want to experience the people and the situations in the same way that I experience life in Texas or in Wheaton. Please pray for these things.
Alex
...gracias para la oportunidad para vivir en Honduras con Larry, Allison, Jason y Sarah. Ojalá que no doy por sentado el tiempo, la gente, or Su presencia en cada día y experiencia. Por favor, Jesus, enseñame lo que quieres, quiero entender mas de Su reino y de Su amor para nosotros.
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